The Poor Man's Brands

Long, long ago, The Poor Man had a list of poor man's equivalents, summed up in the formula "X ITPM Y." (ITPM, of course, meant "is the poor man's".)Unfortunately, the original list seems to have disappeared, but you can get the gist by considering the following: "The Go-Bots are the poor man's Transformers."

Let's think of some more, shall we?

• Michelob ITPM Budweiser.
  
• Old Milwaukee ITPM Michelob.
  
• Sterling Beer ITPM Old Milwaukee.
  
• Reno ITPM Las Vegas.
  
• Elizabeth Hasselbeck ITPM Ann Coulter.
  
• Tucker Carlson ITPM George Will.
  

et cetera. But it strikes me that there are examples where this is all too horribly, horribly true---brands that, in childhood, would require other children to regretfully inform you that your parents were either poor or didn't care for you.

• Huffy ITPM Schwinn.
  
• Lee's ITPM Levi's.
  
• Packard ITPM Dell.
  
• And most of all: Rose Art ITPM Crayola.

(You know you're alternating between too many markup languages when you want to write HTML using LaTeX syntax.) (You know you're a dork if you understand that joke.)